Byron Katie says:
"Do you really want to know the truth? Investigate each of your statements using the four questions and the turnaround below. Leave out any statement beginning with “but,” “because,” or “and”. Take only one negative judgment at a time through the process of inquiry. Often you will have several negative judgments about one person. Take each judgment separately through the inquiry process. The Work is a meditation. It’s about awareness; it’s not about trying to change your mind. Let the mind ask the questions, then contemplate. Take your time, go inside, and wait for the deeper answers to surface".
- http://www.thework.com/downloads/worksheets/instructions_for_thework.pdf
The Work with Inquiry:
Sarah should love me.
Is that true? (Wait for your heart to answer).
Well maybe she shouldn't.
Can you absolutely know that Sarah should love you? That that is true?
No. I can't absolutely know that she should.
How do you feel when you think Sarah should love me?
I feel unloved and never good enough.
Who would you be without the thought Sarah should love me?
I would act nicer to Sarah, and I would give myself a break. I would be better. Happier.
What are three turn arounds for Sarah should love me?
[Byron Katie says, "Next, turn your statement around. The turnarounds are an opportunity to experience the opposite of what you believe to be true. You may find several turnarounds."]
I should love Sarah.
Sarah shouldn't love me.
I should love me.
"Let yourself fully experience the turnarounds. For each one, find at least three genuine, specific examples in your life where the turnaround is true. This is not about blaming yourself or feeling guilty. It’s about discovering alternatives that can bring you peace."
- Byron Katie
I should love Sarah: Love towards another is always good. Because I do admire her. My love for her would create a place in school where I can feel more relaxed and happy and so can the people around me.
Sarah shouldn't love me: She has a right to act and feel anyway she wants. I don't want to make her do something she doesn't want to do. She has no obligation to fill or question to answer because I haven't told her I admire her and she is not attached to me. Even if she was attached to me I would still not require her love.
I should love me: Loving me will relax my body, reduce my stress, make me smile easier, make me happy. I should love me because Loving my body will prolong my life and increase my intelligence. It is natural for me to love my body because I live in and with it. I should love me because other people love me. I should love me because when I love me other people can love me.
