Byron Katie's "The Work" In Action: Our Bodies
There are no original thoughts.
The Thoughts:
I don't like my body because...I'm not smart, and I can't fit into a size zero and never will, I'm not coordinated or fit enough to ride a bike.
I want my body to...play, dance, sing, and act confident.
My body should/shouldn't...hurt, be oily.
I need my body to...lose 15 lbs. De-tense. Act natural.
My body is (make a list)...beautiful, slightly unhealthy, wanted.
I don't ever want my body to...have cancer, throw up, be sick.
The Questions vs. The Thoughts:
Thought: I'm not smart.
Question: Is that true? Can you absolutely know that's true?
Thought: No, I got into college, I'm taking 20 units. I am smart.
Question: OK. How do you feel when you think that " I'm not smart" thought?
Thought: My stomach tightens up, I feel unable to do anything or change anything.
Question: OK, so we established those are feeling bad. Now, who would you be without your thought "I'm not smart"?
Thought: Who would I be?...Without..ok..I would be...Doing exactly what I'm doing now AND if I didn't understand something I wouldn't call myself 'dumb' I'd just ask for help to understand it.
Question: Good, So can you give me three turnarounds from "I'm not smart?"
Thought: I am smart. I love myself a little more when I think I am smart. I am smart when I think I am smart because then I am taking care of myself.
Thought: I can't fit into a size zero and I never will.
Question: Is that true? Can you absolutely know that it's true or one day will be true?
Thought: Actually I squeezed into a size zero all day today, but it was painful, so No.
Question: How do you feel when you think "I can't fit into a size zero ( I never will)"
Thought: Like I have a big stomach. Like I'm competing with my sister. Like I'm losing a war against myself.
Question: Who would you be without the thought?
Thought:Open to healthier ways of lifestyle, eating, exercising but mainly loveing myself more.
Question: So, three turnarounds.
Thought: I may one day fit into a size zero. I don't fit into a size zero but that's OK, because it's someone else's role in life to fill those jeans, not mine. I can fit into a size zero, sometimes.
Thought: I'm not coordinated or fit enough to ride a bike.
Question: You are not coordinated or fit enough is that true? Can you absolutely know it's true?
Thought: No. Wow. No.
Question: How does "not being 'X' enough" make you feel?
Thought: Uncoordinated and unfit, I guess, Un-X-. That makes me feel tired. And in my body whenever I think about riding a bike I feel scared. And my legs tense up.
Question: Who would you be without this thought?
Thought: I'd be skinny! Which is good. Also I would eat a lot more, but also a lot more healthy! And I would bike! But only in safe places on sunny days because I don't like car exhaust in my lungs.
Question: And the turnournds?
Thought: I am coordinated! I can type and talk at the same time! I can play piano and sing at the same time! AND I am fit. I walk everywhere (except just now I did take the bus because I didn't think I was warmly enough dressed and the zero jeans hurt). I am 'X' enough for me and for everybody else who wants me.
Thought: I want my body to play, dance, sing, and act confident.
Question: Can you see how that Is true, that your body already does those things?
Thought: Yes.
Question: So it is not that you want your body to do that but you love that your body DOES that.
Thought: Yes. I love my body. I love my body when it does dance, sing, play. But I'm not sure it acts confident.
Question: For your body to act confident you need only to be confident in the love you have for your body.
Thought: I'm not confident in that love for my body.
Question: Why?
Thought: Because if I was, I'd be beautiful and my life would be easy. And It's not.
Question: You are not beautiful, your life is not easy: Is that true?
Thought: Well compared to hippos and third world countries, No.
Question: Who would you be without those thoguhts?
Thought: Well I would be ego trippin all the time...
Question: And is that a bad thing? Don't you think angels love themselves?
Thought: Well, yes, but..
Question: Children are narrcisistic and we are all children on the inside, and
we have barely changed a lick since our first self adoring perceptions of the world. Children love themselves. The discovery of their toes, they even marvel at their own poop.
Thought: So it's okay for me to love and adore myself and call my life easy..well actually my life Is quite simple.
Question: Give yourself permission. Like talking to an honored guest.
Thought: OK. Dear Body, Mind, Soul, you are my honored guests here experiencing this life with me now, all our cells and energies together. And I give you permission to love your self and take pleasure in your easy life and call it easy.
Thought: So the next one: By body should/shouldn't hurt or be oily.
Question: Can you see how those are false, that they are just assumptions and judgements?
Thought: Yes I can see that. I know they aren't true, both should and shouldn't. My body is the way it is. It will do what it must to take care of itself. I love my body in any condition and If my body wants to be oily or hurt or not oily or hurt I give it full permission.
Question: Good, great, next one?
Thought: I need my body to de-tense, lose 15 lbs, act natural.
Question: And? What do you think now?
Thought: I do not need my body to do anything and as I think that I feel my body de-tensing. I think you lose lbs when you are relaxed rather than stressed all the time and if I am relaxed I am acting in my natural state- relaxation.
Question: That is good. You are really getting this.
Thought: Next one: My body is beautiful, slightly unhealthy, wanted.
Question: Are these true?
Thought: I think My body is beautiful is true because it makes me feel good when I think that. I think my body is slightly unhealthy is not true because I am a very healthy person by habit. I think my body is wanted is true because that makes me feel good to feel wanted.
Question: So how do you feel when you think your body is slightly unhealthy.
Thought: *Cough* I feel slightly unhealthy and I cough. Haha.
Question: Who would you be without your 'slightly unhealthy' thought?
Thought: I'd either be completely sick or beautiful, loved, and full of energy and light.
Question: Which do you choose?
Thought: The second option.
Question: So , turn arounds, Your body is slightly unhealthy...
Thought: My body is healthy. My body is really healthy. My body is Not sick in any way.
Thought: The last one! Oh good. I don't ever want my body to have cancer, throw up, be sick.
Question: Is that true?
Thought: No. If I was never sick or threw up then I could never fully appreciate my health and ease of living. But I never want my body to have cancer.
Question: Well who does? You never want your body to have cancer. Is that true and can you absolutely know that that's true?
Thought: Actually if I was going to have cancer instead of my little sister then I would want my body to have cancer, because I could not stand to see her sick. So, no.
Question: How do you react when you think the thought 'I never want my body to have cancer'?
Thought: Defensive. Like I'm already under attack.
Question: So who would you be without the thought 'I never want my body to have cancer'?
Thought: I would be open to having cancer and loving my body, my self through it all.
Question: So the turnarounds, some you already provided.
Thought: I am open for my body to have cancer because I will love my body no matter what health I am in. I am willing to have cancer because I know if I have it I will not hate my body and my body will not hate me. It will be okay for me to have cancer because I am willing to love my body , my self, no matter what.
Question: So, You never want to see your sister sick...
Thought: I am open to seeing my sister sick because I love her and will love her no matter where her body is in life. I am willing to be with her if she is sick everyday witnessing her experience. Everything will be okay if I see my sister is sick because I will be able to be with her and love her every moment she is sick.
Thought: Thank you so much, I feel so much lighter and freer. This is so good to practice everyday. I love myself. Now! And that Feels Good! (Laughter). I will now choose to think only the thoughts which I know to be true because they feel good. I will now open myself to all of life's experiences and willingly embrace them just in case they are coming my way.
The Truths (turnarounds):
(The turnarounds are the things you think to prove to yourself that your original thought is false and your new one is right. Three's the charm)
I am smart. I love myself a little more when I think I am smart. I am smart when I think I am smart because then I am taking care of myself. I may one
day fit into a size zero. I don't fit into a size zero but that's OK, because
it's someone else's role in life to fill those jeans, not mine. I can fit into a
size zero, sometimes. I am coordinated! I can type and talk at the same
time! I can play piano and sing at the same time! AND I am fit. I walk
everywhere (except just now I did take the bus because I didn't think I was
warmly enough dressed and the zero jeans hurt). I am 'X' enough for me
and for everybody else who wants me. Body, Mind, Soul, you are my honored
guests here experiencing this life with me now, all our cells and energies
together. And I give you permission to love your self and take pleasure in
your easy life and call it easy. My body is healthy. My body is really healthy.
My body is Not sick in any way. I am open for my body to have cancer
because I will love my body no matter what health I am in. I am willing to
have cancer because I know if I have it I will not hate my body and my body
will not hate me. It will be okay for me to have cancer because I am willing
to love my body , my self, no matter what. I am open to seeing my sister
sick because I love her and will love her no matter where her body is in life.
I am willing to be with her if she is sick everyday witnessing her experience.
Everything will be okay if I see my sister is sick because I will be able to be
with her and love her every moment she is sick.
If you want the worksheet whose questions and guidelines I followed here it is readily available at http://www.thework.com/downloads/worksheets/jyb-worksheet.pdf
For more Byron Katie awesomeness see www.thework.com
