I inhale. Feeling validated, understood by two single sentences written by Eli Clare; “But what leads folks to name their bodies defective—and by implication, pitiable or despicable—in the first place? Some of the answer has to be shame, and medical technology won’t solve all of it”. I am highly interested in 'what leads folds to name their bodies defective' and very willing to blame society, parents, culture and environment in the drop of a hat, but with closer analyzation perhaps it is only the person themselves who labels their bodies defective.
First one assumes a person is like a child absorbing all negative prepositions about their body. With this perspective the reason for the person's belief that their bodies are defective comes from those closest to them at pre-kindergarten ages. Namely, their parents and siblings. However continuing that argument one would find that their parents only learned that behavior by copying their parents and so on and so forth.
I know in this particular sentence Eli Clare means 'folks' as in trans and disabled people and people who are both trans and disabled. However out of context this is a powerful sentence that can apply to anyone- the nursing mother to any teenager who has ever stood on a scale even once. Eli Clare says we must attempt to not allow our bodies to be medicalized, our ordinary familiar bodies. I have never considered my body ordinary nor familiar and that concept – even just being willing to consider it- I believe has fundamentally changed the way I relate to my body.
It is so hard to accept something less than perfection in this media driven display culture- until I realized that not being perfect meant being ordinary and familiar- not bad alternatives. Eli Clare definitely makes a case for acceptance of what we were born with- not against hormone therapy or surgery- just acceptance. He invokes 'shame' as the reason we label ourselves defective meaning the feeling of embarrassment has lead to the thought of “My body is defective”. Thus, the behavior that change (through hormones and/ or surgery) is not only good but longed for. The constant longing for perfection but never noticing the perfect ordinary essence of our bodies seems to be our complex- those of us who judge our bodies unnatural.
However if a dislike of our bodies did not come from our parents then maybe it came from our language and culture- regarding our bodies as objects less than our selves whom which we wanted to identify with. We see gyms and models everywhere encouraging us to look thin and have straight hair. The media and the satisfaction guaranteed culture denies the fact that there is many thousands of body types- in many clothes there is two sizes: desired and not desired. English is a noun-based language, so our attention as English speakers focuses more on the noun in a problem than the verb associated with that noun. We describe our bodies like things at times, refusing to associate feelings or ask questions with the way our bodies look. We for so long treat our body like an ugly duckling, saying, “This is the way it is”. Except we do not accept our bodies- these things to which our thoughts are attached. This is why we turn to medicalization of our bodies- in some cultures rhinoplasty is a status symbol and women who have gone under the knife proudly wear their bandages for up to two years- well after the surgical scars have healed. Why do we do this?
What it comes down to is a lack of something. In disassociating with out bodies we distance each of ourselves from human touch, and the way we look. Sometimes we go so far away from our bodies we look in the mirror and wonder, “Is that me” or “Who am I”. I believe this behavior creates a lack of self worth, self-love, and self-acceptance. What it comes down to is each and every person who calls their bodies defective thinks they are not good enough. If we all looked in the mirror everyday and instead of criticizing our faults we loved our bodies for their individuality then we would feel good enough to say “My body is not defective, despicable, or pitiable”.
